how am i the lucky one?

i’ve written about waiting before. like september 17th 2013, i am now waiting. the life-on-hold- kind of waiting. i’ve even taken to scientific versions of self help books. positivity by barbara fredrickson authentic happiness by martin seligman flourish by martin seligman happier by tal ben-shahar stuck in a waiting rut, however, what has calmed me […]

our love saves lives

i love to love. i feel good when i love, and i love accepting love. AND i love that i love love. so much love happening, someone get me a picture of a puppy. ahh, that’s better. so, valentine’s day. the opportunity to show someone just HOW MUCH you love them. how will you show […]

just around the river bend

i’ve been hand-writing blog posts. secrets abounding, and projects evolving. life secrets. dream secrets. all the secrets. one of my best friends, mike lawson, told me about how easy it is to give up on an idea if you allow yourself to get credit for it too early into it’s development. he said, ‘as soon […]

bother me tomorrow, today, i’ll buy no sorrows

when today rolls around each year, i wonder what i shall do, explore how i should feel. still diabetic. i sit here, on the day marking the start of my fourteenth year post diagnosis, and question… should i feel: thankful for the life i’ve sustained because of medication? grateful to the scientists (banting) who made […]

it’s beginning to look a lot like…

like pain, it is a feeling i forget between occurrences. it is sweeping, it takes me over entirely, and i well up inside. every so often, i feel a glimpse of what is to come an acknowledgment of the fact that in my life i will ‘do something’ …something… remarkable. in waves, it approaches. and […]

these nights never seem to go to plan

i woke up with ketones and i’m feeling pretty shit-tastic. right now. every keyboard button i press takes a little more effort every stroke requires a deliberate action nothing comes natural except to sit, uncomfortably, and stare at the television while i pretend to pay attention. this is only moderate, it has been worse. it […]

and the world is so big

it’s my 100th post and i’m happy to have saved this until now…. i’ve been plugged in to the dexcom g4 for a week and a half. look at all of this glorious data: i could pretend i wasn’t thrilled with the 144mg/dl average i could say “i know i can do better” and in […]

pop, pop, pop that thang

this post is not drug related, despite the title. or, well, i guess it is. insulin is a drug isn’t it? correction to that first line there: this post is indeed drug related. LIFE UPDATE i moved to mesa, arizona on sunday night. yes, i did mean to write night. we left berkeley, california around […]