just around the river bend

i’ve been hand-writing blog posts. secrets abounding, and projects evolving. life secrets. dream secrets. all the secrets. one of my best friends, mike lawson, told me about how easy it is to give up on an idea if you allow yourself to get credit for it too early into it’s development. he said, ‘as soon […]

bother me tomorrow, today, i’ll buy no sorrows

when today rolls around each year, i wonder what i shall do, explore how i should feel. still diabetic. i sit here, on the day marking the start of my fourteenth year post diagnosis, and question… should i feel: thankful for the life i’ve sustained because of medication? grateful to the scientists (banting) who made […]

it’s beginning to look a lot like…

like pain, it is a feeling i forget between occurrences. it is sweeping, it takes me over entirely, and i well up inside. every so often, i feel a glimpse of what is to come an acknowledgment of the fact that in my life i will ‘do something’ …something… remarkable. in waves, it approaches. and […]

and the love for what you hide

benign. a word you hope to only use in benign situations, also known as the situations that are figurative in nature, or ones that are devoid of the possibility of cancer. it’s nothing. nearly three months ago, i felt a lump in my breast. it began with 30 days of ‘it will probably go away’ […]

these nights never seem to go to plan

i woke up with ketones and i’m feeling pretty shit-tastic. right now. every keyboard button i press takes a little more effort every stroke requires a deliberate action nothing comes natural except to sit, uncomfortably, and stare at the television while i pretend to pay attention. this is only moderate, it has been worse. it […]

ground control to major tom

ever come face to face with someone harboring a radically different perspective on diabetes? one that doesn’t jive with yours? one that you wish you didn’t still hear? one that takes just a little something from you? one that hurts your heart and reminds you of how much work there is still to do? ever […]

and everything he sees is blue

big blue test time is one of my favorite times of the year. an external reason to get my blood pumping and exercise. today, i submitted two big blue tests and it wasn’t as challenging as i thought it would be. it wasn’t as grueling as i imagined. in fact, it felt really…good. today i […]

and, oh, what a change there’d be

so you have heard of medicine x, the conference at stanford university that truly integrates patient voice and perspective, the conference that trends on twitter because the online component is exponential and maybe you have thought about applying maybe you decided not to because you aren’t sure you have something unique to contribute maybe you […]