UPDATE !!! (2/27/14) : jesse had his first big relief today while spending time with his dad. he explained that all night and morning, there was a pain in his chest, likely the pleurectomy as the culprit. then, in a moment, the pain changed form and felt 10x better. he isn’t pain free, but he […]
it’s the stillness of an empty hospital waiting area that brings me to tears for the first time since grabbing jesse’s hand when the doctor uttered the words, “you’ll be admitted.” at that time, both jesse and i equated the words to dollar signs. how could we afford this? would his insurance cover the expenses […]
Originally published on my Medium page. It is with a rhythm that I scribe, a cadence one better. With pauses and causes and intentions, I spill. I want to tell you how I feel before I tell you what it is I’m reacting to because that is how I make meaning from surroundings. I want […]
i’m nervous as shit to jump states. five months before the leap and my anxiety level is in the stratosphere above everest. the more i try and control the feeling of being afraid, the more my subconscious squeezes at my spirit like a hand clenching putty. facing the questions speeding my way regarding the forthcoming […]
from yesterday to today, i move from then to now, in an attempt to self actualize my wishes to feel more full. with humility and strength, i will begin to redefine my definitions of the actions which are a point of self-pride, self-fufilling prophecy, and me-ness. here i go, from here to there: introspection – […]
attending the medtronic diabetes advocates forum came with everything you would expect: great big hunks of information, meaningful connections, the forging of new friendships, open discussion, action plans, boats of laughter, and down-right exhaustion. coming home from the weekend, i said to my partner, jesse, “that was a lot of diabetes.” feeling slightly bent out […]
wordless wednesday Our difficulties of the moment must always be dealt with somehow, but our permanent difficulties are difficulties of every moment. T. S. Eliot
when i opened the email invitation to the medtronic diabetes advocates forum for 2014, i looked to mike lawson sitting next to me and said ‘did you get invited to this? maybe they meant to send it to you.’ within the diabetes space i have a lot to learn and a lot to say, but […]
do you have a relative who sends you a little som’somthin’ every holiday? just a small thing that sends love and says ‘i care’. perhaps it is the same thing every year, like a holiday card, for example. when you were little, you didn’t know it, but a tradition was being built. every year you […]
did you imagine nsync right there? jumping about with their hands stretched out, their arms swinging from left to right hands clasping like a beak clamping and opening clamping and opening they are wearing expressions crafted by the feeling of being wronged. if that is what you got, that isn’t how i meant it, although […]
Unexpected Blues 