i’m only human

Screenshot 2014-02-06 16.08.50
over the weekend, my father and i sat down for a heart to heart.
not the kind of h2h you have when you are in trouble or when bad news is being shared.
this was the heart to heart you have with a friend just simply,
to share.

my dad, or ‘faja’ as i like to call him, wanted to request one simple thing:

‘ask me questions about the me you have never known’

you see, my dad was married twice before tying the knot with my mother.
we hadn’t talked about it before. ever.
15 years of his life equated to a question mark in mind. . .

so, i was of course intrigued.

i was intrigued and touched by his willingness to share.

so, i asked him…

‘my first question is, what do you want to tell me?’

our conversation went on for about an hour that night and another hour the following night.
the idea that i know a lot more about a person i have been around for 23 years stumps me.
how?
how is it that i have spent so so so so so so much time with him, yet know so little?

he had always been there.
i had always been there.

i had just never asked.

while i feel a saddness for not having asked prior, i am more overcome with gratitude that i am blessed with a father that would so candidly say:

‘you don’t have a full picture of who i am and i want you to’

i unconditionally love my dad, but his space in my heart expanded as a result of his openness.

i’m so thankful for my dad’s existence. thankful for the person he is. thankful for the person he wants to be. and thankful for the person he helps me to be.

the end.

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